Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

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I thought this was hilarious!

How I feel at the moment: bubbly

I really hate it when what I should say is " Please retract your previous statement, ma'am." When what I really want to say is "Go eat a bowl of dicks you dirty old cunt!!!"

give it a lick.. mmm it tastes just like raisins.

How I feel at the moment: LOOK AT MY HORSE

Song Title: The Best Is Yet To Come

Artist: Rika Muranaka

Lyrics:
English translation

--------

Do you remember the time
when little things made you happy?
Do you remember the time
when simple things made you smile?
Life can be wonderful,
If you let it be.
Life can be simple,
If you try.

Whatever happened to those days?
Whatever happened to those nights?
Do you remember the time
When little things made you sad?
Do you remember the time
When simple things made you cry?

Is it just me
Or
Is it just us?

Feeling lost in this world?
Why do we have to hurt each other?
Why do we have to shed tears?
Life can be beautiful,
If you try.
Life can be joyful,
If we try.
Tell me
I'm not alone.
Tell me
We are not alone in this world,
Fighting against the wind.
Do you remember the time
When simple things made you happy?
Do you remember the time
When little things made you laugh?

You know,
Life can be simple?
You know,
Life is simple.
Because
The best thing in life is yet to come.
Because...
The best is yet to come...

Just came up randomly out of my 50 some odd gigs of music and I felt the urge to post it.

How I feel at the moment: introverted
Currently Listening to: The Best Is Yet To Come - Rika Muranaka
Currently Watching: random wallpapers....